On Thursday afternoon this past week, I stopped at Culver's to pick up hamburgers for my daughter, my two grandkids and and me for lunch. It was about 11:30 when I drove to the school where Lisa worked to meet her and her kids. Lisa is a teacher and it was a parent teacher conference day. That means her kids are not in school but she is not.
When I called her earlier in the week and asked if the kids' schedule would allow me to pick them up to go with me to see the movie, "Where the Wild Things Are," sometime soon, her immediate response was, "How about Thursday?" I knew immediately I could do that. So, at 1:15 on a Thursday afternoon, I took Kaitlin and Brayden to the show.
For years my alarm went off at 5:15 am and I would spend every day at my job. A job I enjoyed but it took all my time and energy and did not allow me to be flexible or available to my daughter or son and my six grandkids.
But now I am retired.
That does not mean that I don't have things to do. I still have a busy life and I have many things that I do. But, now I have options and I have flexibility and availability. I don't think we realize how important it is to have the privilege of being available and being flexible.
I enjoyed Thursday afternoon. I thought about the fact that it was Thursday when I picked up the hamburgers. I thought about the fact that it was Thursday when I bought the movie tickets. I thought about the fact that it was Thursday when I drove the kids back to their house and enjoyed talking about the movie with them.
And I thought about the fact that I was retired and it was a Thursday afternoon and I loved it.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Friendships Renewed
My husband and I have lived in five different towns located in three different states over the course of 43 years of marriage. Each place that we lived stands out in my mind for a variety of reasons, but there is one thread that is common to all five of those places: that is the friendships that were formed during our time there. And from each place there has been at least one or more friendships that have held on through each move and that are still a meaningful part of our lives today.
This afternoon my husband and I had a call from a friend we hadn't seen for at least 20 years. We met this friend early in our marriage and enjoyed many good times with him and his wife. However, as some times happens, they were divorced and he moved away. While we had kept in touch with his wife over the years we had lost track of him. So, it was with a great deal of surprise and pleasure when he called and asked if we had some time to get together while he was traveling through our city.
There is something very satisfying when you see someone after 20 years; immediately recognize them and see the smile in their eyes. The joy of the lingering hug that says, "It is so... good to see you again" cannot be described! In an hour we caught up on each other's lives, our kids, our jobs and all those details that took years to experience but take only minutes to bring everyone up to the present.
Friendships are some of the best blessings we have in our lives and my life has been richly blessed with many, many wonderful friends. All of these friends are special and always will be. But today we were doubly blessed with a friendship we thought we had lost! I'll recall that smile of greeting and that hug that lingered for a long, long time.
This afternoon my husband and I had a call from a friend we hadn't seen for at least 20 years. We met this friend early in our marriage and enjoyed many good times with him and his wife. However, as some times happens, they were divorced and he moved away. While we had kept in touch with his wife over the years we had lost track of him. So, it was with a great deal of surprise and pleasure when he called and asked if we had some time to get together while he was traveling through our city.
There is something very satisfying when you see someone after 20 years; immediately recognize them and see the smile in their eyes. The joy of the lingering hug that says, "It is so... good to see you again" cannot be described! In an hour we caught up on each other's lives, our kids, our jobs and all those details that took years to experience but take only minutes to bring everyone up to the present.
Friendships are some of the best blessings we have in our lives and my life has been richly blessed with many, many wonderful friends. All of these friends are special and always will be. But today we were doubly blessed with a friendship we thought we had lost! I'll recall that smile of greeting and that hug that lingered for a long, long time.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Acquiring Wisdom
I was reading a blog from another site this morning and decided to make a comment about it. As I was writing I realized I had more to say than what might usually be in a comment and decided to post that comment along with a few additional thoughts. If you would like to read the other blog that triggered this one you can click on the link to mmrite's blog listed at the side of this page and then go to her other blog (The Way I See It) which is listed on the right hand side of that blog.
I have often been concerned recently with what seems like a great lack of wisdom on the part of our society. I hear people say things as if they are stating facts when they are actually just repeating someone else's opinion. We used to teach kids in school, that just because something was in writing did not make it a fact. Today, many people need to know that just because something is on the Internet does not make it a fact.
I have also always thought it was important to learn from our experiences; however, I don't see evidence of that happening in ways that are productive. It seems to me that in order to learn from our experiences and to acquire wisdom there must be two things present: First, there must be a willingness to reflect on what you have experienced. If you don't take the time to think over what has happened, there will be no learning. Second, I think you also have to step out of the emotions that are connected to the experience in order to learn from the experience in a wise way. If the emotion of that experience is the only thing driving what your thoughts, your learning will be limited and will probably not result in becoming wiser. For example, if I am with a group of people that I don't know and I feel uncomfortable and intimidated because no one is talking to me, I might decide to never go to another gathering unless I already know most of the people there. That response is tied directly to the unpleasant emotions associated with the experience. The focus of the reflection is only on yourself in order to never repeat that experience. If you change the focus from yourself, to a more analytical viewpoint, then you would look at all of the reasons the situation was uncomfortable and consider a variety of things you might do differently. For instance, you might reflect on what made you uncomfortable. Were you afraid someone would ask you a question you might not be able to answer? Or, were you afraid you wouldn't know what to say to someone if they did come over to meet you? If so, then you might think about strategies to try that will help you begin conversations rather than waiting for someone else to come to you. Is being with a group of new people something that you need to do because of your job or social commitments? Who do you know that might help you get acquainted with some of the people in the group. When you change the focus from self and your emotions, you broaden the possibilities for acquiring new skills or insights, and you become wiser in the process.
I have often been concerned recently with what seems like a great lack of wisdom on the part of our society. I hear people say things as if they are stating facts when they are actually just repeating someone else's opinion. We used to teach kids in school, that just because something was in writing did not make it a fact. Today, many people need to know that just because something is on the Internet does not make it a fact.
I have also always thought it was important to learn from our experiences; however, I don't see evidence of that happening in ways that are productive. It seems to me that in order to learn from our experiences and to acquire wisdom there must be two things present: First, there must be a willingness to reflect on what you have experienced. If you don't take the time to think over what has happened, there will be no learning. Second, I think you also have to step out of the emotions that are connected to the experience in order to learn from the experience in a wise way. If the emotion of that experience is the only thing driving what your thoughts, your learning will be limited and will probably not result in becoming wiser. For example, if I am with a group of people that I don't know and I feel uncomfortable and intimidated because no one is talking to me, I might decide to never go to another gathering unless I already know most of the people there. That response is tied directly to the unpleasant emotions associated with the experience. The focus of the reflection is only on yourself in order to never repeat that experience. If you change the focus from yourself, to a more analytical viewpoint, then you would look at all of the reasons the situation was uncomfortable and consider a variety of things you might do differently. For instance, you might reflect on what made you uncomfortable. Were you afraid someone would ask you a question you might not be able to answer? Or, were you afraid you wouldn't know what to say to someone if they did come over to meet you? If so, then you might think about strategies to try that will help you begin conversations rather than waiting for someone else to come to you. Is being with a group of new people something that you need to do because of your job or social commitments? Who do you know that might help you get acquainted with some of the people in the group. When you change the focus from self and your emotions, you broaden the possibilities for acquiring new skills or insights, and you become wiser in the process.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Day 30: The Final Day
This has been a great journey for me. Each day of the challenge has brought something new or opened up a new understanding. One of the most challenging aspects of this challenge was making the commitment to report my progress or struggles via this blog. Knowing that I was going to describe what I was experiencing and the progress I was making, or not, as the case might be, kept me going. I did not want to have to start over and making this public commitment helped me to keep focused. That doesn't mean that I didn't struggle some of the time; I often did. But I didn't quit and I didn't let negative thoughts take over.
So, now that the 30 day challenge is completed, what is next? Well, at the end of the book, "Strangest Secret to Success," it says this:
So, now that I have finished the first 30 days, I will start over. This time, I will set a more specific and challenging goal. This time I will focus more on taking action than on attitude. Attitude is still important, but now I realize how much change there is in attitude when you take more action. One of the quotes I have posted on my refrigerator says this, "DO the thing you fear and death of fear is certain!" Doing--taking action--is key to controlling your thoughts and key to achieving your goals.
This will be the last post I will make regarding this challenge. I don't plan to do daily posts about the next 30-day challenge; although it may from time to time become a part of something that is posted. If you have taken this challenge with me, let me know. I will benefit from knowing how you did. If you would like to begin a new 30-day challenge, let me know and we can become a support system for each other. Whatever you do, thank you for allowing me to share my journey with you. I'll leave you with this quote from Ryan Montgomery, who is one of the CEO's in Reliv International, "It isn't where you start that is important, it's where you end."
So, now that the 30 day challenge is completed, what is next? Well, at the end of the book, "Strangest Secret to Success," it says this:
Take your 30-day test, then repeat it, then repeat it again. Each time it will become more a part of you until you'll wonder how you could have ever have lived any other way. Live this new way and the floodgates of abundance will open and pour over you more riches than you may have dreamed existed. Money? Yes, lots of it. But what's more important you'll have peace....you'll be in that wonderful minority who lead calm, cheerful successful lives.
So, now that I have finished the first 30 days, I will start over. This time, I will set a more specific and challenging goal. This time I will focus more on taking action than on attitude. Attitude is still important, but now I realize how much change there is in attitude when you take more action. One of the quotes I have posted on my refrigerator says this, "DO the thing you fear and death of fear is certain!" Doing--taking action--is key to controlling your thoughts and key to achieving your goals.
This will be the last post I will make regarding this challenge. I don't plan to do daily posts about the next 30-day challenge; although it may from time to time become a part of something that is posted. If you have taken this challenge with me, let me know. I will benefit from knowing how you did. If you would like to begin a new 30-day challenge, let me know and we can become a support system for each other. Whatever you do, thank you for allowing me to share my journey with you. I'll leave you with this quote from Ryan Montgomery, who is one of the CEO's in Reliv International, "It isn't where you start that is important, it's where you end."
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Day 29: Lessons Learned
This may sound like I'm rambling, but I thought I'd just list some of the lessons I've learned during the past 30 days.
I've learned that:
--I can control negative thoughts...IF I want to and IF I try. (Which means it is my choice to make.)
--the quicker I replace a negative thought with a positive one, the easier it is to get rid of it.
--when I keep positive thoughts in the front of my mind, I get more done.
--it is easy to slip back into old attitudes, if you don't pay attention.
--I like me better and I am in a better mood when I stay positive
--learned that I need to be more specific with the goals that I set
--and I've learned to be patient with myself--sometimes!
Tomorrow is Day 30 and I would love to hear from you. What have you learned?
I've learned that:
--I can control negative thoughts...IF I want to and IF I try. (Which means it is my choice to make.)
--the quicker I replace a negative thought with a positive one, the easier it is to get rid of it.
--when I keep positive thoughts in the front of my mind, I get more done.
--it is easy to slip back into old attitudes, if you don't pay attention.
--I like me better and I am in a better mood when I stay positive
--learned that I need to be more specific with the goals that I set
--and I've learned to be patient with myself--sometimes!
Tomorrow is Day 30 and I would love to hear from you. What have you learned?
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